imperfections led to perfection.

Caravaggio. One of the rebellious artists of Baroque art in Rome who created some of the most breathtaking masterpieces of the time is often hidden in the shadows of more famous geniuses like Michelangelo. An aggresive character, it's quite easy to see how Caravaggio chose to portray a more naturalistic perspective in his paintings. While the patrons of his commissions were not always pleased with his realistic depictions of holy figures, claiming them to be disrespectful, his mastery of technique could not be denied. This can be seen in those who chose to buy his rejected paintings despite the controversy.
The following pictures are the result of a commission for the Contrarelli chapel of St. Luigi del Francesi in Rome. A three-piece project, Caravaggio was to depict the life of St.Matthew; from his calling to martyrdom. While the entire altar was unbelievably beautiful, my favorite was the centerpiece which was unfortunately rejected by the church. There were two versions of the piece which was to show the illiterate St.Matthew receiving the aid of an angel to write the gospel.

 Original version rejected by the church in 1600. (above)

Revised Version by Caravaggio (1600)

The first version shows an elderly saint in tattered robes whose hand is being directly guided by the angel in order to write. His feet are noticeably dirty, rough and it can even be said that he takes the full appearance of a farmer. Yet, there can be an unmistakable feeling of tenderness and delicate patience found in the bond formed between the martyr and the angel. St Matthew appears to the viewer, as a saint trusted wit the task of the gospel, but first and foremost as an ordinary man who has been called upon by the Lord himself. Perhaps it is this realistic nature that makes the entire piece so beautiful in its entirety...suddenly the viewer believes that such a saint could exist and that his capabilities were trusted for a powerful reason, or several at that.
The revised version shows the saint in vividly clored robes, well pressed and royally draped. The angel approaches him from above as to illuminate his better judgement, but does not come close to the saint's hand; St.Matthew writes the gospel by himself. He looks stronger and placed in a more dignified stance, looking more "presentable", following the expected image of a saint according to the church.

While the revised version that hangs in the Contrarelli chapel is still a grand mark of Caravaggio's trayectory, the imperfect version which is now lost is one of the most amazing paintings I have ever studied.
It inspires faith within me. A rare thing.



Love,
Jen


VIII

como poder olvidarlas?

Today I paid a visit to the California Museum of Photography (CMP) in downtown Riverside, not too far away from campus. I was looking to take notes for my photography class assignment, yet I found much more in the main exhibit on the first floor.

The above are all photographs by Mexican artist Maya Goded, part of a larger project by the title of "Las Olvidadas"or The Forgotten. A theme exploring the invisibility of Mexican women in all areas of life; the kind of transparency that many experience in their homes and through the eyes of others. The exhibition is split in three categories: the women affected by the disappearences of the Juarez murders, the prostitues of Mexico City's La Merced, and those involved in the mystical healing powers that "witchcraft" has to offer.

Every face seemed to be haunted by a different ghost; every woman wanted to be taken by darkness in some way. There was so much pain in the exhibition as a whole; intense does not even begin to describe it. An immense sense of appreciation is gained by observing the suffering and harships these women have had to endure; all ages and sizes have had to go through some kind of emotional or physical beating. For such an aching to be caught on film was unbelievable....my prayers go to every one of those women.
Goded: though I am sure your intent was not to receive praise, I applaud you.


Love,
Jen


VIII

Volcano.

What I am to you is not real.
What I am to you, you do not need.
What I am to you is not what you mean to me.
You give me miles and miles of mountains and I'll ask for the sea.
What I give to you is just what I'm going through.
This is nothing new, no, no just another phase of finding
what I really need is what makes me bleed

But like a new disease, Lord, she's still too young to treat.

Damien Rice is fucking brilliant.


Love,
Jen

VIII

never thought I would make it to Warwick Avenue.

This post will be crossing significantly sentimental territory. For any readers, let me offer a heads up: this kind of entry will not occur often, but let me explain...In writing, everything feels slightly more official. And I feel like a new transition has started in my life, not just physically but emotionally as well....such changes should be documented. That being said, let me move on.

For more than a year, Ive devoted myself to one thing.
Forgetting everything else, or simply putting it aside.
Perhaps due to a strong sense of stubborness mixed with a large dose of hope.
Whatever it was, it led me to some of the the best memories I have had in my 20 years of life. And let me make it clear, I do not regret a single thing.

YET. There comes a time when a girl has to acknowledge when a limit has been reached and moving on is the only major thing left to accept. Contrary to my previous beliefs, this limit is not about giving up.....but instead about knowing when you have had enough. Perhaps it takes a regaining of the natural selfish nature we have within ourselves, to finally continue and let go of  one person. In this manner, new places will come up, new people will come in, and new memories will be made.

I made it to Warwick Avenue. I hope to not run away now.

Love,
Jen 


VIII

Beverly Center Day.

As a continuation of my amazing spring break, some window shopping just HAD to be done. So my friend Brey and I knew it was time to go to LA an take advantage of all the amazing stores in the area. With caramel lattes in hand, we started an adventure checking all the racks of clothes, admiring the walls of shoes, and loving the jewelry in every glass case. Safe to say being broke didnt help with the growing desire everytime we walked into a store..but we managed, and definitely got a surplus of ideas of what to spend our next round of paychecks in :]
While I cannot speak for Brey, these were my highlights of our visit to the oh-so-grand Beverly Center.

Let's start with SEE. How this store has been in Beverly Center for nine years and I hadnt noticed is beyond me! For those who are eyewear lovers (and pretty damn blind) like me, trust me when I say this store is absolute heaven. I had a hard time narrowing it down to one pair, since they had a million options. The small boutique has their own brand going and its an understatement to say I was impressed by it. The tortoishell pair I fell in love with was a good $289...not too shabby for some legit glasses! Too bad my birthday is in September. ha.

Next stop: ALDO. I absolutely adore most of the merchandise the shoe store is carrying. The chain has just put out their collaboration with Julian Louie, a must-see. The first pair is a lil preview of the tribal inspired collection featuring bold prints and a brilliant homage to the wedge. In the words of Rachel Zoe: I DIE ;]
The second pair is featuring one of the trends of last fashion week, the colorblock. The fact that Aldo has mixed wood in the design is a delightful bonus. And last, but not least...doesnt that last pair scream YSL trubute platform? Yet, actually does it successfully.

Ive never known much about Club Monaco, and now I deeply regret not being more informed a long time ago. While the store is still a lil pricy for my budget, they had several pieces which would be staples in my closet. I wish I could place the entire lookbook on here, but that might be quite troublesome. So let's stick with the piece that mad my heart soar as soon as I laid eyes upon it on the mannequin. The Anita skirt above proved to be unlike anything I've seen in a while... Hitting slightly above the knee, the a-line skirt is covered with strategically placed minute rhinestones with gold thread wrapped around forming a sun shape. Its light, sparkly, and flowy. Matched with a chambray shirt, tortoiseshell glasses from SEE, and a good pair of loafers= WIN.

Finished the night with some hookah and a very exciting Lakers game in good company. Yea....spring break is good to me <3 

Love,
Jen

VIII

night of studying.

" There is a myth perpetuated by universities and intellectual journals that to understand a work of art is truly to grasp its message, to engage with it. But we know from our experience in life how far apart understanding and engagement can be and how possible it is to love another person or to respond to a building without adequately understanding then, or to understand them without feeling. "

-James Ackerman (1985)

drink the poison, trace the veins.

Goodbye to my 189E art history class.
Hello to a new and ongoing fascination for the subject matter.

With the help of a cranky printer, this morning was a bit hectic to say the least. Yet, I managed to turn in my final paper for my contemporary art history class...eight pages of nudity and ordeals in performance art. While it feels great to be done with the workload for the class, I must admit im gonna miss the exposure to such grand works twice a week.

Moving on to a topic im extremely intrigued by. French artist Orlan.
As I was investigating another bizarre, but ballsy artist, Vito Acconci (who I suggest you look up! try ubu.web for some of his work) I came across Orlan's life performance piece and was instantly hooked.The transformative artist underwent a series of plastic surgeries through which she incorporated famous features of women as portrayed by well-known artists and sculptors; a piece which is often referred to as The Reincarnation of St.Orlan. The list she used included, among several physical attributes, Venus’s chin as painted by Botticelli, Mona Lisa’s forehead as imagined by Da Vinci, as well as Psyche’s nose as created by Gerome. Orlan technically would come to be the living, breathing definition of beauty as thought of by some of the most brilliant participants in the art world, although such purpose was not the artist’s intention. Orlan wanted to continue a struggle against that which is programmed...that which is in our nature or God's plan if you will.To begin to appreciate Orlan's carnal art, one must try to reflect upon the surgeries as the artist herself did, without suffering and leading to the enlightenment of future generation concerning the pressures of beauty. I find it perplexing how a person can make their entire life one long performance, in which they're ever-changing but not because of true growth but because they have been trying to prove ONE point which emerged during youth.
I really wonder if she has changed her mind about the task she took upon herself to complete. And even if she has, I guess there's no goin back now, is there?


One thing is for sure, there was an immense amount of dedication which she placed in her craft. Whether it was mixed with idiocy is another matter entirely.