Thursday, January 12, 2012

all paradox and enticing mystery.

thoughts circling round and round in my head as I walk to get my morning coffee:

I) There's a spot right on the bridge over the freeway dedicated to a victim of a hit and run incident. Two broken candle holders stand beneath a mid-size poster presenting the picture of a beautiful girl in her mid 20's; a coy smile on her face. Right above, it reads "gone, but never forgotten". The entire set up unfailingly makes me remember a feeling emerging in my childhood. I feel that ever since I was a little girl, I never thought I would be lucky enough to reach old age. Perhaps everyone has this mentality; a kind of skeptical nature regarding the ability to live close to 90 years on this earth...but at least some people can see parts of it. Having grandchildren, sitting on a rocking chair on the porch, among other cliche things. But Ive never seen it. I always thought that I would die being significantly young...and while that might seem pessimistic, it instead just felt like a reality to adjust to.
weird, i know.
II) I keep wondering about all the things to do for study abroad in the summer, and if everything will actually come together for me. Italy would be beyond amazing. But someone please explain why I'm still thinking about that internship at the Getty here at home...?
III) school. school. school. so many books to get, and so much work to do next week.
IV) ooh, urban outfitters has a sale!

been hoping to find this song. its an absolute favorite now.



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